The League of Men with Fancy Gloves
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''The League runs'' an Ale House in Prague called "Ye Fingered Friend." | ''The League runs'' an Ale House in Prague called "Ye Fingered Friend." | ||
- | ''Their Jack the Ripper scandal'' bears a curious resemblance to the O.J. Simpson trials. | + | ''The Jack the Ripper scandal'' bears a curious resemblance to the O.J. Simpson trials. |
''Researchers scoff when arm chair conspiracists insist'' that the gloved players of the Anaheim Angels are somehow linked to the Anahinthan. | ''Researchers scoff when arm chair conspiracists insist'' that the gloved players of the Anaheim Angels are somehow linked to the Anahinthan. |
Revision as of 23:06, 17 Jun 2005
Easily the most understood of groups secreting themselves away from direct observation, the League fashions itself after Minoan Craft Ritual, Fornication Timetables and late-style arithmetical pant-fashions -- at least in so much as the latter represents a conquering fashion, a being made of spaces between fingers five -- and in that failure is a layer of experience, as the Hand too removes sensation. As such, the League has been seen as a Gnostic group, rejecting perception as tainted, untrue, a source of suffering. Fashionable group of Poets and wayward mystics seemingly gathered to harrass the establishment, the revolution, the avant-garde and especially The League of Gnomes. Famous for their Massive Dinner Send-Back of 1955 at Ryan O'Donnely's Ribhouse and Honkytonk. ExtrapolationAlthough the exact details of their origins are gloved in mystery, it is clear that the League of Men with Fancy Gloves gained legal status as a Scottish Friendly Society with the repealing of the Combinations Act of 1793. Like many of the Friendly Societies, they paraded as a gentleman’s drinking club while serving as a fund raising and recruiting front for a shadow organization. In the case of the League, the shadow organization was the “Anahinthan”,1 an ancient and secretive order of proto-gnostics associated with alchemy, ritualized murder, and autoamputation. Though the League began as a hand puppet organization--concealing and publicly acting for the Anahinthan--the League eventually seems to have pulled a Pinocchio and, like an unbidden homunculi, taken on a life of its own.2 The League quickly entrenched itself in various shipping and naval organizations and became a prominent player in the piracy-laden seas of the days. The League rose in historical prominence with their involvement in the relocation of the Portuguese royal family from Brazil in 1821 and the Cuban struggle for independence (1886 to 1898). Though largely absent in Cuba today, they remain firmly entrenched in Brazilian society. (Many of the more esoteric Carnaval ceremonies are, for example, modeled after various League rites.) By the late 1800s, the League had reached their prime, enjoying a lofty membership with considerable influence over world affairs. The League nearly collapsed in 1896 when Chief Constable Sir Melville Macshten, a Twenty-Seventh-Degree Crack Stepper, was publicly accused of squashing evidence regarding the death Mary Jane Keller in 1888.3 It was eventually revealed that both the League and Sir Macshten were victims of a devious counterfeiting scheme. Although the Chief Constable was eventually exonerated and the press eventually offered public apologies for their shoddy smearing of his character and the character of the League, the damage was already done. Like Sir Macshten’s marriage, health and fortune, the League floundered. A few far flung Fingers seemed to have escaped the scandal, but the hay day of Fancy Gloves had passed. Publicly, they re-established themselves as a group of esoteric anti-everything poets and far-flung sailors. Despite this public turnabout and their steadily declining membership over the last century, the League does still secretly operate with an insidious cruelty and a poetic bite that continues to instill fear in the hearts of those who know. Organizational Darwinism The League has maintained various interesting intra-organizational tensions that helped the organization to adapt to changing times.
Organizational StructureThe League is composed of three grades: Greenhorn, Crack Stepper and Holy Man/Woman. Each grade involves a ritual progressively entitled "Running the Gauntlet," "Taking the Gloves Off," and "Throwing Down the Gloves." Publications
See AlsoNotes
Note 1: “Anahinthan” translates from the Goth to “unhand”, which has been variously interpreted as “released” or “without hands”. The Anahinthan have been more commonly referred to as the Gloved Ones and, occasionally, the Unseen Hand. Note 2: In recent times, the terms “League of Men of Fancy Gloves” and “Gloved Ones” have become interchange in the minds of most people -- so much so that the terms are, for all practical purposes, synonymous today. Historical sticklers cringe at the confusion, pointing out that, technically, the two groups continue to function separately to this day. Note 3: Ms. Keller was, officially, Jack the Ripper’s fifth victim. According to the Sir Macshten’s unnamed accuser, a bloody glove found by Mary Jane Keller body was “disappeared” by the Chief Constable. At the time, the press began to speculate that Jack the Ripper’s nickname of the “Leather Apron” was a metaphorical reference to a glove, and overeager “journalists” implicated the Chief Constable as Fancy Glove seeking to protect a fellow Thumb. Note 4: Contemporary researchers vigorously disagree with the Church's assessment of the League's role in the Cuban Revolution, pointing out that the League was in steep decline at the time. Furthermore, though the League clearly had much to gain from stirring up popular unrest in Cuba from time to time, they had little to gain from outright revolt. Note 5: It is, for example, difficult to image how the League could have been involved in the fall of the Iron Curtain. On the other end of an unlikely timescale, contemporary scholars doubt that the League’s roots are deep enough for the organization to have bankrolled Columbus’ first New World Voyage, though some researchers still insist that Rodrigo de Jerez, a sailor on the Santa Maria, may have worn gloves.
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DesiderataAside from the Massive Dinner Send-Back and the Puti-Core Scandal, the League has been linked with numerous sinister schemes and maleficient shenanigans. Michael Jackson is a member, but only honorary. They have long been involved in the traffic of Absinthe in Europe. The League runs an Ale House in Prague called "Ye Fingered Friend." The Jack the Ripper scandal bears a curious resemblance to the O.J. Simpson trials. Researchers scoff when arm chair conspiracists insist that the gloved players of the Anaheim Angels are somehow linked to the Anahinthan. Holy Men and Women are believed to make the leap from League to Anahinthan. The entrance rituals for this third grade of the League are said to involve the removal of the hands. The League of Men with Fancy Gloves and the League of Gnomes appear to be hell-bent on mutual destruction. No one is really sure why. |