Priory of Goom

From Plastic Tub

Oppositional Groupings and Secret Orders

Choco Cult Death Cults League of Gnomes The Gloved Ones Followers of Molech Mormo Cult Priory of Goom Other Groups

Once believed to be a splinter group from a Bay Area-based Choco Cult, the group was thought to have ties with several European counterparts involved the creation of golems and homunculi. As it turns out, the links were as the links between parent and child. The European counterparts were definitely the parents. As much as can be ascertained, the Priory of Goom was founded in Prague sometime in the late 19th century. Not much is known of its activities until the late-1930's, at which time it surfaced as an underground Resistance movement. Fervently anti-Nazi, the Priory carried out attacks upon the occupying German forces until the end of the war.

During the Communist period the group all but disappeared and was assumed to have either disbanded or been surpressed by the Communist regime. After the fall of the Soviet Union, the Priory resurfaced with a sophisticated propaganda machine which seemed to belie earlier theories of its demise.

Recently, the Priory has agitated in favor of the Airbus A380, a "yes" vote for the seemingly moribund European Constitution, genetically modifed foods and the universal increase of hot dog consumption. Although very few hot dogs can be counted as citizens, they also advocate universal hot dog suffrage. Such a conceit, which is a bewildering hindrance in their quest to be taken seriously, has a purpose which as yet remains unknown. Given their other positions, it may be simply, as in the words of Oscar J. Peterson, "another instance of Frankengineering, the hodge-podge of European efforts to form another kind of mongrel: affable yet bland, a shining lie upon which all can agree. Never mind that soup costs more than a mobile phone."

The Priory's most famous branch remains that of San Francisco, where hip intellectuals flock to its now thoroughly pimped conclaves in search of free chocolate.

Organizational Structure

Branches exist in nearly every Western country. Ranks include Shambling Mounds, Googams and Elementals.