Boneyards

Non Canonical Text

"In consequence, the U.S. remains buried in Korea can never be recovered but are bound to be reduced to earth with the flow of time." -- Foriegn Ministry spokesperson, N. Korea.

....floating desperately, hanging on to a gelatinous hook from the sky....the Ace of Spades presented to the hungry void....see Holy Grail

Extrapolation

Mazzistow Carrington's grand opening of the rib-joint Boneyards was greeted with a Philadelphia brotha'-lovin' gala.

Ryan O'Donnely saw otherwise. In his eyes, this new-found BBQ competition was a declaration of war, and he had the vast resources of his O'Donnely's Ribhouse and Honkytonk restaurant chain behind him. Coupons and half-priced deals were scatter-bombed to the public; blimps soared across the skies hailing Ryan as the BBQ-king; prank calls were lobbed into the Boneyards kitchen.

Mazzistow, meanwhile, stood tall, elbow-deep in rich, velvety sauce, nostrils like eyes for the blind. His ribs were impeccable. The lines were soon drawn on race, a dangerous division in times of national race riots.

When the Boneyards burnt to the ground, 1967, one winter night under mysterious circumstances, no one was surprised, least of all Mazzistow. The local Afro-american press decried a tale of woe, broken dreams, and heartache. Mazzitow, meanwhile, laughed all the way to the the bank, well-planned insurance policy in hand. Rumors ran rampant, but smart cash was 10 to 1 on a Ryan-induced fire. Mazzistow, rich, slipped off quietly, last half-seen dissolving into the swelling Brazilian metropolises.

In 1974, Mazzistow was suddenly everywhere again, serving ribs to The Champ in Zaire, mediating the Bathurst Gaol prison riots, backing vocals on Ronnie Wood's first solo effort. O'Donnely was not amused, but he bit his tongue, let bygones be bygones, so long as Mazzistow kept out of the BBQ business.

In 1985, Mazzistow published his now-famous cookbook. In 1986, Ryan died.

See Also

• Dead Body
• Death Cults
• Ritual Murder

Work-a-day environs can become boneyards, easily, and often.

Desiderata

Steven Vogeler's Associationalist Composition No.1 features a passage referred to as Brought up in a Boneyard.

A short-story by Alfred Bester, By Leaps and Bounds, features a character named Winthrop Boneyard who can teleport himself for a maximum distance of 3.14 "neo-meters."