Lads and Lassies of the Skillet
From Plastic Tub
Children's group founded by Stimes Addisson in 1973 as a joking response to the Gnome Scouts. The organization, though never fully operational at the time of it's creation, was to focus on crime-solving and various outdoor activities. It has since enjoyed a resurgence among college students, environmental activists and amatuer sleuths.
Organizational Structure
The Skillet consisted of seven ranks: Kidlet, Cutlet, Baconeer, , Short Stack, Tall Stack, Hashbrown and Chop.
The Baconeer grade was the third level of advancement available to lucky Lads and Lassies. It is this grade which consititutes the bulk of membership, as further ranking was extremely difficult. Trained as double agents, Addisson personally chose middle-classed fat kids, those who could most easily be bribed with bits of candy and blizzards of sugar. Famous Baconeers were Douglas Fairbanks Jr., Orson Welles, John Candy, and the members of Lionel Hampton's ghost band.
The Hashbrown grade is said to have involved a ritual visit with a prostitute in the guise of a watermelon.
The Chop grade, second only to Addisson in command and function, consisted of a triad of enormous children, each of them freakishly obese. In order to gain access to this most cherished rank, each child had to allegedly eat another human being, usually a Crack Stepper or a Troglodyte. Understandably, members of this grade are extremely secretive by nature.
