South American Adventures Of 1948
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| [[Category:Glossary]][[Image:Southamerica.jpg|thumb|right|South America is the perfect place for adventures.]]Among other things, a wild three-month fling which took [[Easton W. Wunderkidd]] from Tierra del Fuego to the Darien Gap. It was on this trip that Wunderkidd was arrested for having sex with a [[watermelon]] in Montemierda, Venezuela. | [[Category:Glossary]][[Image:Southamerica.jpg|thumb|right|South America is the perfect place for adventures.]]Among other things, a wild three-month fling which took [[Easton W. Wunderkidd]] from Tierra del Fuego to the Darien Gap. It was on this trip that Wunderkidd was arrested for having sex with a [[watermelon]] in Montemierda, Venezuela. | ||
| - | In January 1947 Wunderkidd was engaged by the [[German School of Re-Design]] in Costa Rica to teach for a year. His classes were a disaster: under-prepared and overwhelmed, he stammered and fudged his way though something which was an "unexcusable mess" in the terms of one disgruntled student. His contract was not extended. | + | In August 1947 Wunderkidd was engaged by the [[German School of Re-Design]] in Costa Rica to teach for a year. His classes were a disaster: under-prepared and overwhelmed, he stammered and fudged his way though something which was an "unexcusable mess" in the terms of one disgruntled student. His contract was not extended. |
| - | Disgraced, Wunderkidd flew to Buenos Aires in January, at the height of southern hemisphere summer and made his way down to the southern reaches of Tierra del Fuego. His goal was to scour the town for an old German he'd heard about who was said to be Hitler's favority cartographer and, incidentally, [[Yon Milahaus]]' uncle. One night, drunken, his Welsh host, a shepherd by the name of Gwyllyn Gwyllyn, also something of a local celebrity for his polyglot renderings of torch songs and his enormous capacity for drink challenged the impressionable Wunderkidd to an improbable feat: visit every capital of South America in three months, without paying for a train, bus, taxi, airplane or any other menas of transportation which would violate the spirit of the deal; terms were never really clarified; stakes were never even set. The only thing that is certain is that the 24-year old Wunderkidd was on the train the next day, an itinerant, his only provisions were those on his back. | + | Disgraced, Wunderkidd flew to Buenos Aires in May 1948, at the height of southern hemisphere summer. His goal was to scour the town for an old German he'd heard about who was said to be Hitler's favority cartographer and, incidentally, [[Yon Milahaus]]' uncle. One night, drunken, his Welsh host, a shepherd by the name of Gwyllyn Gwyllyn, also something of a local celebrity for his polyglot renderings of torch songs and his enormous capacity for drink, challenged the impressionable Wunderkidd to an improbable feat: visit every capital of South America in three months, without paying for a train, bus, taxi, airplane or any other menas of transportation which would violate the spirit of the deal; terms were never really clarified; stakes were never even set. The only thing that is certain is that the 24-year old Wunderkidd was on the train the next day, an itinerant, his only provisions were those on his back. |
| His wallet was stolen the next day and he found himself pondering starvation in the middle of the wilderness where the benefactor he'd encountered hitching had dumped him after threatening to make him suck cock. Naturally, this is where the adventures began. | His wallet was stolen the next day and he found himself pondering starvation in the middle of the wilderness where the benefactor he'd encountered hitching had dumped him after threatening to make him suck cock. Naturally, this is where the adventures began. | ||
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| - | It was a wild time he never got over. His original researches into Aryan Cartography, though reluctantly admitted by many to be "ingenious, if fiendish," further alienated him from his academic colleaugues and all but sank hims as a professor. His travel journals, however, are a masterpiece of comic misery not to be missed. | + | It was a wild time he never got over. His original researches into Aryan Cartography, though reluctantly admitted by many to be "ingenious, if fiendish," further alienated him from his academic colleaugues and all but sank hims as a professor. His travel journals, however, are a masterpiece of comic misery not to be missed. |
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| + | Wunderkidd, defying all expectations, met the challenge. Almost twenty-four hours before his deadline he crossed over in Costa Rica, having passed through Bogota some days before. Gwyllyn, suitably impressed, gave Wunderkidd a set of diamong cufflinks shaped like dice and a cabin in Patagonia. Wunderkidd sold both, moved to [[New York City]] and lived out his days painting esoteric canvasses and sunbathing nude on his roof. | ||
Revision as of 02:29, 4 Mar 2006
In August 1947 Wunderkidd was engaged by the German School of Re-Design in Costa Rica to teach for a year. His classes were a disaster: under-prepared and overwhelmed, he stammered and fudged his way though something which was an "unexcusable mess" in the terms of one disgruntled student. His contract was not extended.
Disgraced, Wunderkidd flew to Buenos Aires in May 1948, at the height of southern hemisphere summer. His goal was to scour the town for an old German he'd heard about who was said to be Hitler's favority cartographer and, incidentally, Yon Milahaus' uncle. One night, drunken, his Welsh host, a shepherd by the name of Gwyllyn Gwyllyn, also something of a local celebrity for his polyglot renderings of torch songs and his enormous capacity for drink, challenged the impressionable Wunderkidd to an improbable feat: visit every capital of South America in three months, without paying for a train, bus, taxi, airplane or any other menas of transportation which would violate the spirit of the deal; terms were never really clarified; stakes were never even set. The only thing that is certain is that the 24-year old Wunderkidd was on the train the next day, an itinerant, his only provisions were those on his back.
His wallet was stolen the next day and he found himself pondering starvation in the middle of the wilderness where the benefactor he'd encountered hitching had dumped him after threatening to make him suck cock. Naturally, this is where the adventures began.
There were the nuns in Uruguay...
The bolo throwing contest in Cordoba...
The orgy in Rio...
The fistfight with a fugitive Nazi in Bolivia...
The cocaine fiasco in Bogota...
The pirhana incident that cost him a finger...
An abominable case of dysentary....
It was a wild time he never got over. His original researches into Aryan Cartography, though reluctantly admitted by many to be "ingenious, if fiendish," further alienated him from his academic colleaugues and all but sank hims as a professor. His travel journals, however, are a masterpiece of comic misery not to be missed.
Wunderkidd, defying all expectations, met the challenge. Almost twenty-four hours before his deadline he crossed over in Costa Rica, having passed through Bogota some days before. Gwyllyn, suitably impressed, gave Wunderkidd a set of diamong cufflinks shaped like dice and a cabin in Patagonia. Wunderkidd sold both, moved to New York City and lived out his days painting esoteric canvasses and sunbathing nude on his roof.
