The Worship of Dongs

From Plastic Tub

A dong, while sometimes symbolically represented by hot dog, is not usually something that is, in the strictest sense, eaten. As Freud is alleged to have said on t-shirts everywhere: "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

But is it?

Bashy Gupta, in his many diatribes, usually directed towards Poob Culture and especially Auto-Colonialism, has said "the worship of dongs finds its apex in American Poobism, where the hot dog is inexorably linked with the national sport of baseball. This collective devouring of franks is in fact the most blatant form of auto-colonialism possible: as mindless hordes stuff themselves with trash meat, cheer, grunt and guzzle beer, Uncles Sam is at their homes having sex with their wives. Ha! The worship of dongs may have given us a better toaster, but see therein the irony? Wheatbread is plentiful and ready; why go through all the rigamarole of making white bread brown? Wasted time. Jealousy. The Eiffel Tower. All because of a cock inferiority complex."

Needless to say, many other scholars stridently disagree with this assessment.