Krystine Monitzer

Guamanian-American. Born in Oakland, CA, August 25, 1971. She arrives through the window, via catapult, landing on the couch, already smoking. She receives a five-grade twiddler, plated with a keen salve. She was a jaguar on $5 w/of GEEK.

Possessing an uncanny and vivid memory of her nascence she'll tell you that it was not unlike waking up, hungover and blacked out in a South Tampa gutter. Primarily known for being the movement's foremost expert on whoredom and excess. On an average day she can be found procrastinating, dodging time and communicating with bees. The latter of which was witnessed under pressure by Addisson in 1989 during the only known face to face encounter between the two. It is rumored that as a result of this demonstration Addisson was attacked by the hive and nearly killed. This was never documented however and Miss Monitzer swears that he suffered only a brief and benign reaction of atopic dermatitis.

Monitzer founded the Associationalist Drum and Fife Band in 1999 and has since toured extensively with the group as their manager.

Known Works

Insides Tingle -- short lived Sven and The Tingles fanzine responsible for several restraining orders and frivolous lawsuits.

Desiderata

She has a tattoo of the 1983 Oakland Raiders on her back.

There is one remaining piece of evidence supporting at least part of the story, a letter from Addisson to Monitzer in which he wrote, "My dear friend the bees worked a miracle! I'm going to Cairo."

Krystine has the ability to render herself invisible when the multidote clamours for her appearance.

Many will tell you that it was she who broke up the original lineup of The Tingles.

Monitzer once scaled the old Barnett Bank building in Tampa on a dare and never collected the five dollars.