Slander operation

From Plastic Tub

A concerted effort to spread false and malicious statements about an individual or organization, for the purpose of damaging or ruining their reputation and not to be confused with character assassination. Slander Operations are a standard tactic of The League of Gnomes, Republicans and High School students.


Along the Garden Path

As a wider method of communication, S.O.'s enjoy a high status in overtly Pooban cultures, particulary in those where English is spoken, such as Britain and the U.S. -- these countries are reknowned in AA circles for their Operational complexity and monumental banality. In studies conducted in the early 1980's, researchers discovered a motive common to all Slander Operations -- the elevation of the unmentioned. Dr. Charles Arora explains:

"It is the unmentioned object, enjoying an intial parity in the eye of an observer, which gains thus from the slandering process. It is transformed through a kind of unseen juxtapositioning with the slandered -- eventually becoming nearly fulgent in comparison. This transformation seems to work on an sub-conscious level, sidestepping the rational mind entirely."

Years later, in The Power of Slander, Arora clarified:

"There's a simple experiment everyone can do right in their own home. All you need is a friend unaware of the experiment and two pancakes, A and B -- identical throughout but spatially distinguished. Instruct your friend that when you finish speaking he is to consume one of the pancakes. Then tell him you pissed all over specimen A. If my science is correct, the subject will choose to eat pancake B 90% of the time. Such is the power of slander."

Expediting Understanding

Stimes Addisson, himself the victim of hundreds of slander operations, offered a similar if more obtuse explanation of the phenomena: "Slander is a proto-vaporic power structure, empty until it moves parallel to the victim. It is the association of these two mental automata -- one of verity and the other of falsity -- that brings forth such monstrous creation, an abortion of the mind. The air waxes salty, the skin of the beast awrinkles and the empty lattice of Slander is filled with smoke and fume. It's quite fascinating."

See Also