Verna Cable
From Plastic Tub
Italian American, 1925-1989. She flounces in wearing five pounds of gertrude pollen. She is a moose. She receives a fifty dollar bill inscribed and mottled by Benjamin Peret.
"Verna reared up. We had never seen that." Stimes Addisson to Mazzistow Carrington, relating a story about how Cable advanced upon William Flintrock one night, using an Okinawan "crane" posture, before laying him a blow which sent him sprawling onto a table heaped with German pancakes.
Cable was a broad-hipped, gentle soul, as at ease with the quill as she was with a block of marble. She remained an active participant in AA activities until her untimely death at 64 in an odd farming accident. She loved the Incidentalist Dead Flesh Bonanza, often pulling in the blue ribbon both for her chili and her incendiary calls for a Blimp revolution.
She beat Balthazar Buehb arm wrestling and once had sex with three men in one night. She was aces at crossword puzzles and visited 32 countries, including Kyrgistan. She was the only sculptor in the AA who worked in stone. Highly regarded worldwide, her works have been featured in MOMA, the Centre Pompidou in Paris and at the Harbor Club. She was also a poet, with an expertise in haiku, the limerick and Lithuanian ring sonnets.
Desiderata
- She invented a cocktail known as the "Spina Colada" which is served only at the U.N.
- Though rarely celebrated, Verna is an expert at Ritual shoplifting.
Known Works
- The Victory of Stuffed Dolls
- My Last Orgasm
- This Poetry has a Title, with Steven Adkins
- We will wear pants or nothing at all, influential proto-feminist manifesto, co-author with Wilhemina Forkes.
