Ass

ass ts. 1. That which is sat upon, yet poops; eng. arse. 2. A member of the horse family Equidae; a donkey, mule, horse, zebra, or onager. 3. Colloq., awesome, as in badass; also, the opposite, as in jackass or this tastes like ass. 4. The buttocks of a human.

Extrapolation

"The Ass is transformation and stubbornness, dipshit. Where's my beer?" -- A drunken Stimes Addisson, 1993, Mustang Sally's, Tampa, to Steven Adkins.

"The supposed categorization of Mormo Worship as a form of Tit Worship is in error. Mormo Worshippers are, in fact, predominantly ass men of the most profound sort." -- Bashy Gupta, lecturing at the Copenhagen Poob Research Institute.

Non Canonical Text

"Other poets have warbled the praises of the soft eye of the ostrich, and the lovely plumage of the bird that never alights; less celestial, I celebrate the tail... The compact round body of its root expands into two broad, firm, flat palms... At the crotch or junction, these flukes slightly overlap, then sideways recede from each other like wings, leaving a wide vacancy between. In no living thing are the lines of beauty more exquisitely defined than in the crescentic borders of these... its flexions are invariably marked by exceeding grace. Therein no fairy's arms can transcend it... The more I consider this mighty tail, the more do I deplore my inability to express it. At times there are gestures in it, which, though they would well grace the hand of man, remain wholly inexplicable." -- Melville. Moby-Dick.

See Also

• Glasspants
• Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey
• Transpants

A forlorn ass.

Desiderata

According to lore, most of whom you meet, have asses. Are asses. Eat asses. Live and fucking breathe.