Procreation Myths

From Plastic Tub

procreation myths n. 1. How it all begins; half-truths and other trickery used to beguile and woo sexual partners. 2. A suitably heady topic for light social affairs. 3. Misconceptions concerning human reproduction.


“And so we search for that first crush of lips under the snowy moon, our quickening hearts beating as hands linger too long, love blossoming in the longing of that first tender embrace…” -- Nevid Kessar winning the game love while wooing the pants off the younger sister of Carl Jung, Jr., at a friendly wine and cheese lawn-party in Iowa.

Non Canonical Text

“The aboriginal men of Borneo believed that pregnancy ended when women decided to give birth -- completely misunderstanding that all pregnancies are nine months long. This left the women of Borneo at a distinct advantage in regards to their wantonness pursuits and shenanigans.” -- Clementine, Dapper. From False Promises to False Tits: A Brief History of Procreation Myths. University of Minnesota Press. Minneapolis. 1975.

See Also

Notable Human Offspring


Many children in the United States and Europe believe that their younger siblings were delivered by the stork.

Many fathers in the United States and Europe believe they fostered their offspring.