Ryan O'Donnely
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| - | O'Donnely's Father whupped him with a favorite belt made of armadillo skin, ''not'' cow skin as was later reported. | + | ''O'Donnely's father whupped him'' with a favorite belt made of armadillo skin, ''not'' cow skin as was later reported. |
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| + | ''O'Donnely's [[mustache]]'' was described by loved ones as "enormous -- in other words, a perfect fit." | ||
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Revision as of 02:51, 31 Aug 2006
A Curve Ball Notorious racist, ham-fisted amateur pugilist and one-time Major League pitcher, the career of Ryan O'Donnely reads like a dime-store pulp novel. Famous for his O'Donnely's Ribhouse and Honkytonk restaurant chain which gathered incredible media attention in the mid-fifties both for its ability to draw the ire of civil rights groups and for its unusual architecture, being very clearly in the shape of a man urinating. His death was the subject of intense national curiousity due to the unusual circumstances. A Gruesome Scene His body was found by his sixteen year old son, Patter, completely dismembered, the stumps of which had been sealed in duct tape and tagged with intricate scribblings. Though this is known to be the method of execution favored by The League of Men with Fancy Gloves no emblematic red glove was found, suggesting a frame-job. A statue of O'Donnely was erected in his birthplace, Iagoville, Tennessee (since changed to Whitmanburg). Suspected to be a Noble in The League of Gnomes. Known WorksHow About a Fist to Face? On The Subject of Negro America, open letter published in the Iagoville Gazette, 1969. Numerous O'Donnely Brand Paper Place Mats, featuring puzzles, mazes and jokes, for use in his restaurant chain. Hamfists, Sirloin Feet, a treatise denouncing Mazzistow Carrington's BBQ methods. Numerous knuckle marks on endless cheeks.
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DesiderataO'Donnely's father whupped him with a favorite belt made of armadillo skin, not cow skin as was later reported. O'Donnely's mustache was described by loved ones as "enormous -- in other words, a perfect fit." |
